Trump's Big, Beautiful War
Our president first ran on an isolationist platform. Why is he about to go to war with Iran?
A few weeks ago, Attorney General Pam Bondi found herself in hot water amongst the MAGA faithful when she released “Phase One” of the Epstein Files, which failed to produce anything nefarious regarding the apparent suicide of the disgraced billionaire and friend of Donald Trump. Amidst his weeklong standoff with his former boyfriend, Elon Musk accused Donald of hiding the Epstein Files, an accusation he seemed to walk back in an apology.
For MAGA, the issue at the core of the conspiracy-loving cult is clear. The dog that chased the car finally caught its prey. If there was something juicy in the Epstein Files, we obviously would have seen it by now, not that MAGA cares. The same fringe sect that thinks fluoride in the water turns children gay doesn’t need to let pesky things like facts get in the way of a good story.
Another Trump conspiracy that seems to have flourished in the past decade is that the Fanta Fuhrer is anti-war. Trump has repeatedly pledged to cease endless wars, a notion often at odds with his rhetoric (anyone remember Fire and Fury?) MAGA is once again upset with their bronzed leader as Trump contemplates joining Israel’s new war against Iran.
Where did Trump’s supposed dove status come from? Trump spent much of his 2016 campaign hammering his opponents, including his GOP foes in the primary and Hillary Clinton in the general election, over their support of the War in Iraq. When he wasn’t hitting his low energy, Trump loved nothing more than beating on Jeb! Bush for backing his brother’s failed war.
We got a taste of Trump’s post-truth world with the way the media struggled to fact-check his lies on the Iraq War. Trump claimed to be against the War in Iraq from its inception. In 2002, a full year before the invasion, Trump tepidly endorsed the intervention in an interview with Howard Stern, saying, “Yeah I guess so. I wish the first time it was done correctly.”
Much like Trump’s usual MO, you can find multiple statements supporting every position under the sun. The media tried hard to fact-check his repeated lies that he was totally against the war. Nobody really seemed to care. It’s worth noting that in 2016, few mainstream Republicans were willing to state the obvious: that the War in Iraq was a big mistake. Secretary Clinton’s efforts to fact-check Trump’s lies struggled against the reality that, as a senator, she, along with 58% of Senate Democrats, voted for the resolution authorizing the war.
Trump’s lies were easy for many to cast aside since he was a reality television host for the bulk of the War in Iraq. He can’t hide from Iran behind the shadows of The Apprentice, Hillary Clinton, and whatever’s left of the Reagan wing of the Republican Party. But the lies still matter.
Trump took over the GOP with a coalition of birthers, the kind of people who think that RFK Jr. is the epitome of health, and Republicans who were disaffected with the endless wars of the Bush era. He drew in Clinton Democrats with a promise to break away from the kind of interventionism that’s defined American foreign policy since World War II, the very same kind of meddling he’s currently thinking about continuing.
Peace was never Trump’s primary concern. Trump’s anger at the handling of the Iraq War rarely had anything to do with the ethics of such an invasion. Instead, he harped on about how America failed to “take the oil.” For much of the 20th century and all of the 21st, spoils of war have been frowned upon in international relations. Plunder is not exactly something to be celebrated.
Sound familiar? Our president has repeatedly hinged US support for Ukraine on a minerals deal. Trump’s infamous February sandbagging of President Zelensky in the Oval Office was supposed to include a public signing of the deal, before Trump and his Bloated Care Bear vice president opted for a publicity stunt instead.
Trump’s isolationism is not rooted in any inherent objection to global policy, but rather his own preoccupation with transactional diplomacy. Things like NATO are bad because there’s no oil or minerals that flow into America’s hands through the prosperity of our allies. If Trump was president during D-Day, we wouldn’t have liberated a single beach without the rights to build a resort like the one he wants to build in the Gaza Strip.
Fear not. The lies and the greed might save us.
There’s a clip currently going viral from an interview between Senator Ted Cruz and disgraced former Fox News host Tucker Carlson, whose ambivalence to the truth got him sacked from America’s chief propaganda network. Carlson, who subscribes to the same isolationist views as Steve Bannon and much of MAGA faithful, threw a series of basic questions about Iran at Cruz, who demonstrated a shockingly poor grasp of global policy.
It’s very fun to watch Tucker rip apart somebody as loathsome and vile as Cruz, who demonstrates little knowledge of the region he wants to upend with more regime change. Like most things in his sad, pathetic life, Cruz isn’t a major player in this intense moment of geopolitics, but a patsy for MAGA faithful to prop up as proof that segments of the old guard still permeate through the Republican Party.
Unlike the senator who studied public policy at Princeton and graduated from Harvard Law, the former Fox News host turned podcast may have a major role to play in this growing crisis which may send America into yet another forever war. This isn’t Tucker’s first rodeo. Trump backtracked on a 2019 strike on Iran after a call with Carlson.
It makes sense that we’re back in pretty much the exact same spot six years later. The first Trump administration featured sage counsel from a man who wore a bowtie on a primetime cable news show, who was at least number one in his timeslot. The older, more pathetic Trump now takes military advice from Pete Kegseth, former host of a weekend morning show on cable news, a position that Carlson once held that somehow failed to result in a Cabinet position. Sequels are never as appealing as the original material.
Even from his podcast hosted on X (deadname Twitter), Tucker is still a powerful voice in conservative media. Trump is reportedly very angry that Carlson has been badmouthing his new war games. Yesterday, Trump even claimed that Tucker “apologized” over his rhetoric.
Tucker does speak for a substantial portion of Trump’s base, the only population he actually cares about. Most politicians attempt to pivot toward the center after winning an election. Trump’s never been concerned with that. From Charlottesville to Jan. 6 to the Gulf of America, Donald has only been fascinated by things that appeal to the kind of terminally divorced energy with a third grade reading level that comprise his most important demographic.
Nobody likes the idea of Iran having nukes. Trump is a big part of why we’re in this current predicament, having pulled out of the Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action (JCPOA), also known as the Iran nuclear deal, back in 2018. Barack Obama and many of our allied countries put together a flawed yet effective strategy to contain Iranian nuclear interests in 2015. There were some fair concerns over verification of Iran’s compliance, but the deal kept us out of war, and made it much more difficult for Israel to carry out its current strikes on Iran.
Just like DOGE, Trump loves breaking things with little concern for repercussions. Many warned him that ripping up the JCPOA would put us on this track. He didn’t care. Anything with Obama’s fingerprints on it had to go, consequences be damned.
But there are consequences Trump fears. He doesn’t care about you. He doesn’t care about me. He needs MAGA. He can’t run for a third term, but Don Jr. can seek the presidency in what’s left of his father’s life. There’s still plenty of grifting to be done.
We need TACO energy. Now is a good time for Trump to chicken out. Trump once threatened nuclear war on Kim Jong Un before exchanging love letters. I don’t think the Ayatollah will end up on his Christmas card list, but maybe we can settle for some descalation without putting American troops back into combat zones in the Middle East.
Tucker Carlson has fallen pretty far from his perch at Fox News during the first Trump administration. Anyone who remembers his infamous 2004 beatdown at the hands of Jon Stewart might find it odd that he still has a career twenty years later. He might not have his primetime show anymore, but he could just end up saving the world, if simply by reminding our confused old president that there are some promises, however few, that he might want to keep.
I'm just so fed up with all this horseshit. Yamtits has to go along with all his entourage of MAGAT flunkies and kool-aid slushie goons.
Interestingly, he recently was asked about the Nobel Peace Prize, something he has lusted after for years and thinks he deserves. He gave a lukewarm wishy washy answer implying that it was no longer a goal. I can't remember where I saw this but I'll look for it.